The Truth Hurts

I have been hearing from God for the past two weeks and it has been very difficult medicine to take. It started with a book I needed to read in preparation for the marriage seminar I was going to at my Church. Then came the marriage seminar. I followed that by going to a men's leadership training class. Lastly, there were individual occurrences God pointed out things I needed to see. All this in a nice little package that hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like Wild E. Coyote when one of his schemes to catch the Roadrunner backfired. Can you see me waving that little white flag out from under a pile of rubble?
I was told in many different ways how selfish I've been as a husband, leader, and just in living. The book alone was a wake-up call that I couldn't start reading once I stopped. It convicted me and just kept hitting me-left, right, left, right. I was not able to hardly breath because it just said over and over how bad I was as a husband. It turned into condemnation until my friend told me what I was doing. He saw it for what it was and pulled me back into reality. I still haven't finished reading it yet.
I went into the marriage seminar expecting the best. I did learn a lot of new things that already helped me with understanding and communicating with Kim. However, there came another new set of things I was doing wrong. I didn't feel too bad until we had our first post-seminar fight. It was not as bad as it could have been before the book and seminar. The thing was a concept of the past mixed in with a little misunderstanding. We got through it but I felt like I couldn't change anything in my life. I was knocked down a notch and couldn't get back up.
Kim's mom's friend had a heart attack and they decided to go down to Columbus to visit. I was not going so I got the opportunity to go to the men's leadership training class at church. Originally I had not planned on going. I saw my life as it was and how to fix it. The only problem I had was a lack of ambition to take the leap to just do the things I needed to do to make my life productive and Spirit led. I pondered on these facts and recalled my track record. Then I looked at my present position and a longing to change stirred within me. I wish I could say it was all peaches and cream from that point on but I can't. I saw what needed done in my life and I just caved in. It was just too much for me to comprehend a happy ending to all this. I was always a slacker and even today I slide into slacker mode. I don't like confrontation, being told what to do, the chance of being hurt, or arguing. I back away from most things I can't control or dislike.
Then came Sunday...I had to go to the 'Race for the Cure' in downtown Toledo. I was trying to get out of it but it didn't work. I didn't have to walk, just be there to support Kim's sister and her daughter. I got through the day easy enough but the family is strong willed and they make decisions at the last second. I was complaining and had an attitude that was noticable.
When I got home I thought about how I acted. I wasn't unbarable but it was just enough to peak it's head above the surface and make things uncomfortable. Is this how I influence my family? Is this the way Jesus wants me to live? Is this the way I want to live? Obviously the answer is no and I knew I had to change right then and there. I broke down and cried and begged God to change me. I knew I couldn't do it and any ambition I had was dying. I was close to delving into a deeper depression than I've ever had. I was going to email my friends for help. I knew the answer but it was like I couldn't do it. The answer is 'just do it'.
God was disciplining me so I could change. I never felt all of what these two weeks have told/done to me before. God was gentle, kind, and forgiving. Now He's a Father spanking me and telling me what I did wrong and what I need to do to fix it. Emailing friends won't fix this. I picked up my Bible and said "Lord, tell me what to read. Give me exactly the Word I need for right now in my life that will change me forever." I heard "Zephaniah". I read the last half of the last chapter and knew it was what I prayed for. He spoke to me saying He loved me, is with me, and is changing me. Click here if you want to read what He spoke. The title of that post is a link to a blog that helped me in the right direction too.
I am taking the attitude of 'Just do it'. I am going to sacrifice myself for His glory. Too many examples have been before me not to follow their example. People need the me that God created and not the one I want. If I die in the process I go home to Jesus. It's a win-win situation:-)
Clinging to Jesus and not to this world is my goal. Welcome back Aaron, it's good to see you.

Empty Me

Here is Chris Sligh. He was a contestant on American Idol and sings this awesome song called "Empty Me". I found a video that shows the words like church so you can sing along if you'd like. Listen and be drawn closer to our Lord while you empty me.

Time Lapse

I've been experiencing challenging times as of late. God's been correcting some areas in my life
and I've been doing things to improve my marriage and walk with God. None of these are easy. You have to face things you have been doing wrong for years. Something you didn't know was wrong. Something maybe you knew was wrong but accepted. Something ignored because it was easier to do nothing than deal with it.
It's time to become excellent, to rise above mediocrity and be all God has created you for. So you set out to do this and through prayer and faith things are working out fairly easy. However, the course of time brings ups and downs. There is a time and a season for everything. The season I seem to have the hardest time with is when there is a time lapse. What I mean by this is things are going great and everything is working out like you feel it should, but then you don't hear from God that morning. You send someone an email that could potentially be taken offensively because it is corrective or calling them to live a little higher in their calling. You feel strongly that it was from God but you are imperfect and mistakes have happened before. You check your email with no response 5x more than normal anticipating their response hoping that God was behind your words. Could I have lost a friend by trusting in God? There is a time lapse where you have to chose between the thoughts rising in your head and the trust you have from hearing His voice.
It tends to work this way in many choices you make. You believe the direction you go in is from God but then you don't get a confirmation. You may even get the opposite reaction. People may think you're crazy or a radical or just plain wrong. They may question your very relationship with God. Time lapse...what's next? back away and hide from the faith you were courageous enough to walk in or have patience until God comes through bigger than you ever imagined?
You can follow those thoughts of unbelief down the road to depression, confusion, and hopelessness. You can let it spiral downward getting worse and worse letting it capture you until you believe there is no escape. You don't trust anybody and everything is somebody else's fault. The other choice is to fight those thoughts and feed your mind and heart on the Word of God, prayer, other Christians, and walking out that faith until what is promised in the Bible comes to fruition.
Time lapses are a faith builder and what God uses to make you stronger. It's easier to give up and not move forward, not take chances, not get hurt, and not be wrong, but you will never be the person God created you to be. That is a pain harder to live with than any other. To ignore who you are is the greatest tragedy of all. Jesus would have made the ultimate sacrifice for nothing.
Trust Him at all times especially when it feels like He left you.

Joshua 1:5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Dueteronomy 31:6,8 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Hebrews 13:5,6 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"

Revival

When I think of revival I think about Azuza Street, Brownsville, and The Toronto Airport. I also think about Smith Wigglesworth, Oral Roberts, and Charles Finney. I think of miracles, people shaking, falling down, healings, and services that last all night and all week long. I think of how revival happens through prayer, fasting, and repentance. Then I wonder what it will take for "revival" to happen in my church or a nearby church. How much prayer is needed? Do we need more repentance? Is unity not deep enough to invite the Holy Spirit to move in a mighty way? What's wrong with my church, community, or me that is stopping a move of God to sweep into the pews of a church within driving distance? Is our country to far gone to revive? Why not???

Well maybe many of you think about revival the same way, but I want to present to you a new way to look at it. I recently wrote an email to a friend telling of a group of men in our church gathering together to become 'Maximized Men'-a book by Ed Cole. A new group has begun following this group that is an intimate setting for us to share our faults, victories, and concerns. It is a help to keep us accountable and growing. These are men willing to go the extra mile to fix their marriage, relationship with God, and issues that are keeping us from all God has for us. Here is that email:

"The men's group was awesome as usual. Tonight we had a new group starting for just 4 of us. One guy wasn't there. Three of us met up and discussed our growing in God and our marriages. It was so intimate and refreshing. I think God is giving revival to His own. We confessed our state and what is going on in us and what we are doing to fix or build upon it. All 4 of us last week met to start this and ALL of us connected in ways unique compared to anything I've ever seen or heard about. This week was no different. Come to find out MY email had something to do with it. By confessing my weakness the guys could relate with it and it's brought up things in our lives that God is dealing with and revealing to us. The amazing thing is God is working all this out in our lives at the same time. He is drawing us out of our lazy self-centered lives to become the priests of our homes and then outwardly to the community. I really find it amazing how much I have in common with other guys. In this group guys are admitting they are sensitive and emotional. We also are striving to build each other up and live differently to become what God created us for. This is revival. We want to change more than avoid the pain like we have all along. It ain't all about us!! I am so excited. I can really see something building in us and in the way God wants to do His plan for His church."

I am seeing from this email how God is giving revival to us individually and bringing us together to confirm what is happening. I am so encouraged by this. I see hope and victory ahead of us. I can see this group being a catalyst to attract change in all of us at my church.

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
On our own we are no match for our enemy. He will defeat us 7 different ways. However, through sharing our needs and prayer, victory is ours for the taking. Speaking for myself, I have increased stamina to continue doing what's right instead of just giving up. I have less pain doing things that normally would drive me nuts. I am also noticing a recognition for my efforts and an increased pleasurable attitude instead of a 'whatever' attitude.
God is showing me revival begins with us. We need to be revived to live right at home, on the job, in the community, and in the church. The 'what's the least I can do and still be happy' attitude is over. To live a Godly life blessed from being obedient and unselfish takes courage and a team effort. Pride comes before a fall. How great that fall will be if we don't stop and see the brick wall we are driving into. Until we humble ourselves and let go of our plans and ideas, we will not have freedom, peace and contentment. We will always want more and never have enough. Revival acknowledges God for who He is and as we trust Him we have victory through the trials. Trusting Him, when everything is falling apart and we have no answers, is revival. Putting God first is revival. Putting others before us is revival. I can't wait to see what God has in store next for us. Wait and see...

Awareness

Here's a buzz word for this age we live in today. People are trying to make things more aware to people. Cancer awareness, spiritual awareness, self awareness, brand awareness, and we have awareness ribbons, awareness quotes and we even have awareness months. How has awareness effected me, you may not be asking right now? I'll tell you anyway, awareness is a state of knowing something that has been there all along but never noticed. This year has and continues to be a year of change. In order for change to occur I needed to become aware that I needed changed. The things that hindered me were the very things I held on to because I thought they made me feel better. I needed to become aware of the true situation and change and/or remove some things that made life more difficult. To ignore something does not make it go away.
What awareness has God revealed to you? My top three are:

1. Pride (still finding new stuff all the time)
2. Selfishness (kind of parallel with number one)
3. My true state in relationships (which probably covers 3-10)

I think if we become aware through people, we become offended and don't learn anything. When God does it we might not listen because we're too busy, don't think it was God, or we just don't accept it. When God speaks into our heart, we should listen because it is truth and could change us for the better. The message Sunday in church was removal. What thing do we need to remove? This goes hand-in-hand with awareness. If no action is taken, then nothing is gained. Here are some verses that show consequences for not changing:

• Galatians 6:4-5 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.
• Titus 1:16 They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.
• James 2:17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.
• I John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.

So I challenge you today. Ask the Holy Spirit to make aware the things that are holding you back from all God has for you. Then take action to fix those things. Don't turn from the truth and become 'unfit for doing anything good.'

Perfect Peace

I was visiting with my friend Tami yesterday and she told me about a dream she had that involved martyrdom. She had perfect peace both during the dream and when she woke up. This was uncharacteristic (16 letter word yea!) of her. Normally she would freak out, kind of like me:-)
Well, I have been dealing with insecurity lately and wrote a letter to me/God/nobody just to have a record of what my mind thinks. To find out if it's me or God or whatever. A few verses did cross my path but I didn't get any clear answers. That is until I read a great post from a fellow A/G'er Jenni Weiss. I will 'cut and paste' some of the significant stuff that is relevant to all of us.
'when you're down, don't expect the enemy to lend a hand up... he's going to try to kick you when you are down! Doubt, fear, anxiety, stress... can become fiery darts to the soul and seem to add insult to injury.

Even Job, like so many who face strong trails seemed to be riveted by confusion. The battle in the mind is where a lot of succumbing to the enemy begins and the devil loves to use it - especially when you are sick. The Word shows us his heart in this verse: "If I be wicked, woe unto me; and if I be righteous, yet will I not lift up my head. I am full of confusion; therefore see thou mine affliction..." Job 10:15

I know that the Word tells also in 1 Corinthians 14:33, "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace"!

We know that God is faithful through all and I am beginning to pray that the Lord will double his blessings upon our entire family because of what the enemy tried to do! I am praying for peace, divine wisdom, supernatural intervention, direction, discernment, and understanding.

We don't have to trust in anything... but GOD. He will make the rough places straight. We all need to stand on His Word today and declare... God is the author of peace and I accept peace into all situations, especially the ones I can't figure out on my own. We roll that burden and confusion over to Him and pick up His peace, soundness of mind, confidence, and victory. We don't have to understand everything in order to KNOW that God is able and will keep those in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him. We need to look to God and keep our focus there, not on the situations around us.'

I found this very appropriate and important for our battles and doldrums. We need to know what is real and where we stand. Peace plays such an important role in our decisions and thoughts. If we don't have peace, then we are not where we're suppose to be or thinking correctly. Perfect peace=perfect plan from a perfect God.

Hindrences

Alright, this was copied mostly from an email, then edited, and posted much later than the post time. It is funny how God puts the puzzle pieces together when I am 'writing in the Spirit'. This is the second time I've received clarity when I was writing an email to encourage another. God moves in mysterious ways and ways we know not of. He moves when we don't expect it. He's moving when we don't realize it. While we're spinning our wheels, His plan is moving right on schedule.
Anyways, here's my epiphany:

I have been reading other blogs and talking to relatives. In doing that I have had numerous prayer requests come in and the blahs of not wanting to pray or feelings like God would not even listen because of my lack of effort in my relationship with Him lately. Well after some prayer and thought about it. I realized it was an attack to stop me from praying! My job as a Christian is to encourage and pray. Praying is way harder than encouraging for me when I am less than motivated. My prayers are important and God hears them and He answers them. Lately He's answered many of them. The enemy wants that to stop so he's turned up the heat and weakened me spiritually and physically.
When our eyes are on other stuff rather than Jesus, our perspective is skewed and the devil has ground to emphasize the wrong stuff while we are 'confused' about what we perceive as the truth around us. We tend to believe the lies because they are familiar.

Rom. 12:2-3 'Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.'

We become untransformed when we get the 'don't feel like its'. I guess the answer to being blah about God is to pray. Act on the mustard seed faith you still have and trust He will respond. The other answer or additional answer is to read His word. I am amazed at what a 'David heart' does to the hand of God. It moves in your life like you know it can but still you don't expect it to. For some reason we have it ingrained in us that we are not worthy and He is hindered by our imperfection.
I was even getting life threatening requests. How can you not pray when you get a request like that? The verse that says 'your prayers will be hindered' comes to mind for why we think God won't answer us. I need to investigate this further!

Funny how when you cry out for help from God and others, He answers you and gives you peace.

James 5:16 'Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.'
I was praying because they needed prayer and this is what I do. I might not have felt like it but I did it anyways believing God heard and answered my prayers. In this action God was confirming my gift and showing me I need to pray because He will answer those prayers. When my job is to pray, God gives opportunities to pray.
I almost forgot tomorrow is the National Day of Prayer. Pray. Pray in numbers. God answers group prayers. The more crying out to Him the faster He moves.

Answered Prayer Too

Well the goodness of God continues! While at work last night I realized what His word was for me this morning. I Thess. 5:17- Pray continually. This was a very short word and I didn't see the application until 14 hours later. Wow! The words in this case mean pray without ceasing. Pray and don't give up. There were times I remembered the situation and had no words to pray. I didn't feel like praying. I didn't want to pray because I was hurt and didn't see any answer in sight. Day after day and no peep of results. Nada, Zippo, Nothing. I prayed anyways. I cared for them and believed God beyond my belief. God changed all that in one instant! He is a BIG God!!!
Reflecting back on answered prayer after remembering this morning's word, I remembered other major prayers that were answered recently. Somebody was misdiagnosed with a disease and could not receive health insurance because of it. I prayed for a new test to prove they didn't have this disease. Within a week's time a test result came back declaring no disease!! I knew nothing of the test beforehand either!! Their high blood pressure was normal too (another answered prayer)!
I also have a friend that has a dad in the hospital with colon cancer. Their relationship hasn't been very good neither. This past weekend the surgery was found to be a success (test results still pending) and they had the best father-son time together ever while he visited.
We serve an awesome God!! Do not give up on your prayers. God is bigger than any disease, offense, sin, or problem! Hang in there and you too will see the glory of God!

Surprise, You Still Got It!

I was just remembering last night at church. I was talking to a friend when he wigged out and handed me a card to pick up his son in children's church. He was going into a meeting and didn't want to keep the guys longer than need be. So I went back and picked up his son. I handed the children's pastor the card and told him his dad wanted me to pick him up because he was in a meeting. He said no big deal and called him to leave. The son looked at me with a puzzled look and I said the same thing again to him. He just looked at me and asked when his dad would be done and I told him. He was just standing there so I told him to "leave, you're free do whatever you want." I didn't think nothing of it but he looked at me like I was still his teacher, with all that trust and willingness to follow my lead. God is so good!! I forgot last night how much God used to and still is using me with kids. My mind was on the mistakes our youth pastor was making in his sermon. Then I was getting somebody else's kid. (something I never did) I was nervous the pastor wouldn't let him go because of the policy they have. I see the trust Pastor has in me too. It's good to be me!! I guess I feel like I have to prove myself everywhere I go. Oh no, God moment. God just revealed to me that I not only need reassurance or acceptance (something I just had revealed to me a month ago) but I need to prove my worth. Whoa, I knew I had issues with not being good enough in the world but in church too? God is still fixing me. I am changing and nothing is stopping the process this time!

God's Will

Life has been hard to handle lately. I had taxes to do which is a big deal to me. Can I say that I hate doing taxes? I would rather get a root canal. I have three months of mail to catch up on. My wife is 'cleaning' and is constantly needing assistance. I will be cleaning now also (now that taxes are done). God's been using me quite a bit to encourage a family to stay on track. In order to do much of what I've done, I have lost sleep. I also use the internet (too much) to read and research stuff. I would be way behind if I just went to sleep when I should.
Well, dealing with all this stuff leaves little time for God. I seem to get going and time just flies by. God is left behind for 'important stuff'. I have been trying to hear Him lately and live in faith. It gets difficult to know what God wants in a given situation if we don't communicate with Him like we should. Sometimes He's really clear and other times you're saying "huh?"
I posted earlier in 'Selfish Update' that I was going to live a risky faith filled life being led by the Holy Spirit. I have been successful so far on this endeavor. However, a line has been crossed that is hard to recover from. To walk in faith involves doing things you don't normally do. It also puts relationships at risk. People could start to look at you funny (or funnier than normal!). You have to take inventory of why you're doing what you are doing. You have to weigh personal comfort and safety against risking it all for the will of God.
The line that has been crossed is the possibility of being wrong, more specifically being wrong with a friend's life. I reflected on the consequences of a possible error on my part, when stepping out in faith. The results were not good. My heart grew heavy and fear tried to step in. I haven't let myself go there until then because walking in risk taking faith is scary enough. Why ponder the possible bad outcome to increase the intensity of taking the action you believe is what God wants? God gives you strength to walk in faith and do it easily. When you take that first step of risking it all, it just gets easier after that because the results encourage you to follow God consistently. You get favor, direction, results, etc. You feel confident and you look for people to help.
OK, what if I'm wrong? What if I chose something that wasn't meant for a family at this time? What if my decision sets them back financially for years to come? Is the risk worth taking in that scenario? Yes the bottom line is it's their decision to make but my encouragement for them to walk in faith is defiantly a factor. I could be held accountable in their eyes. I could lose their friendship. All my trust in them that I allowed to happen, after many relationships of broken trust, could be annihilated. This would be a devastating blow emotionally that I don't know if I could recover from. All this risk just to try and follow God.
Well, to determine if the risk is worth it, I think you need to find the answer in the Bible. Who took risks that changed the world (or their's alone)? Can't you come up with more names than you have fingers and toes? There is: Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Gideon, David, Esther, Daniel, Jonah and Jeremiah just in the Old Testament. How about Just Jesus? Name the risks He took confronting the religious leaders of His day, clearing the temple, preaching of eating His flesh and blood, etc. Jesus had all His friends abandon Him. He lost everything even His life. Was it worth it? Was it worth losing everything to live in God the Father's will? I have to say yes, emphatically yes!! His death is our salvation. We no longer get what we deserve (the wages of sin is death). We gain eternal life. In His leaving we received the Holy Spirit and all His gifts (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control). What did He get? Jesus got to return to His father. He also took back all the authority He laid down in coming to earth. He sits in the judgment seat ready to judge the whole earth. His name is above all names. The list goes on and on.
This is how He wants us to live: risky and passionate. Although this lifestyle is a little nerve racking, I believe the good far outweighs the bad. If we don't do what the Holy Spirit is guiding us to do and protect our reputation, our money, our job, our plan, etc., we will never truly see the glory of God until we get to heaven. I will risk it all for you Jesus.

Holy Spirit Nudge

Do you get those nudges that tell you, "Hey you're going off that narrow path again."? Well for the longest time I didn't. I was already off the path and hard-hearted enough that I no longer heard from God or felt any nudge. My sights were all for me and every bit of my energy was being wasted on what I wanted. I only felt a nudge when my wife was doing the nudging! It usually takes a lot for her to nudge too.
I said "no" to the Holy Spirit enough times to where He didn't respond to my off 'pathness'. Now I welcome His correction. To know He loves me enough, that He want me to change, is awesome!
I've signed up for Facebook and MySpace recently and I am hooked! I can check up on people all the time, do the little games they have, trivia, send notes, send gag gifts, and all sorts of fun stuff. Well my wife tells me that when I get involved in something I go overboard. I do! I did. Hence the nudging. Well I'm being nudged right now so I'll end this.
Listen to the nudging before you don't hear or feel Him anymore.

Selfish Update

I posted earlier about God revealing the selfishness in my heart. I have to update that now. I had found that the cause of selfishness is from man thinking and not God thinking.
Well I've tried it and have had some great results. In fact the family I almost hindered from growing spiritually is the one I did some God thinking with. I actually thought like a man and realized that it was wrong. So, the only other choice I had left was to think like God. So, I did. I looked at the situation and saw an impossible mountain to climb for one family on their own and I asked myself what does God want here? God wants the impossible to be possible and He wants us to continue on as if the situation has already been taken care of. He wants us to walk in faith with confidence that He is doing what He said He would do.
I am very pleased to say God gave me the words to say and the scriptures to back up His plan. They believed in those words and have already blessed people from them. Also, they are taking a giant leap forward in their faith to do what God has called them to do even when the way seems insurmountable.
I also have been hearing God's still small voice once again. I have been walking in faith and stepping out to do things I had thought were too risky instead of not doing them at all. Is that not what the enemy of our soul wants from us? To be safe and sound and not do anything for God? Action not Words. That was a Def Leppard song. A rock band got it right. I think we can too.

Bring one to Jesus

My pastor Nate Elarton posted on his blog about What if... It challenges us to try and get at least one person saved this year. What an impact for the Kingdom of God this could be if every Christian took this to heart. It seems so insignificant to only work on one person but how many of us try it? The churches in America are declining in attendance. If we were trying to get only one person to the saving knowledge of Jesus in one year the attendance should be doubling each year instead of declining.
OK honesty time! How many people have I helped get 'saved' in my life? Witnessed to, asked if they wanted to have Jesus come into their life, and prayed with? None. Not a single soul. I have witnessed to a few people and I've prayed with people that made the choice at an event or a gathering of some kind. However, The few times I've asked if they wanted Jesus in their heart they already made that decision.
My biggest obstacle is fear. Their is no reason fear should rule in my life but I allow it to. USE TO. After the men's advance last weekend I realized what courage and compassion are. They involve action. Action is lacking in my life and the lives of a lot of men in this country. I believe this is why marriages are failing, children are disobedient, and the church is declining.
Fear should not rule our lives!! The enemy of our souls wants us to be dormant Christians, believing with no results. How close are we to depression, anger, addictions, and other unhealthy things that are 'easier' than dealing with the real problems we have?
I think it's time we took charge of our lives by surrendering them to Jesus Christ. He is the one with the plan. Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6.
Jesus help us stop giving our authority to the devil. Remove the fear that grips our heart. Fill us with your Holy Spirit and all the fruit that will enable us to 'bring one to Jesus'. Amen.

Moms are important

Hearts At Home Ministry is a ministry for stay at home moms. The founder and director's name is Jill Savage. She was on 'Focus on the Family' March 4th and 5th. You may wonder why I would care about this since I'm not a mom nor a parent. Well, when I first heard this message I did not intend to listen because I usually change to a cd when the subject matter doesn't pertain to me. I was half listening to her message when I started to connect with what she was saying. She is a very good speaker and quite funny. I only heard the second day of two. So I downloaded the messages from Oneplace.com and listened. (click on the link to find it)
She challenges the opinion that stay at home moms are less of a person than a working one. She also tells of her own struggles of self worth and her place in this world. This is good stuff for a mom struggling with her career decisions and her position in the kingdom of God. Jill talks of the proper role of being a wife first and mom second. She also tells moms that their time with the children is short and you need to make the most of it. Moms are the primary influence for a short time, so their role is vital.
The second day Jill talks of maximizing moments. Her story was of the presidential inauguration. She had an appointment somewhere and the kids were asking a ton of questions of what was going on during this inauguration. She knew she had to get going but she knew this was important too. Her thought that kept her home was, "There won't be another inauguration for another 4 years and the kids will be in college by then." This was her moment to teach them or they would miss out.
Her other point was what her kids taught her. In the process of learning she talks about shooting up 'arrow prayers' to God. They are emergency prayers for wisdom in situations where moms need an answer fast. One example was when her child embarrassed her in a fancy restaurant. Her child said he had to go to the bathroom and he knew he had to go because he farted. He said it loud and people were staring! She asked God what to do. He was just a kid doing what a kid does. God told her, "Your value and self worth is not based on your child's behavior. It is based on who you belong to." God loves us. That doesn't change if our child misbehaves in public. I was listening real good after this. I heard what she said and I could apply it in so many other examples in my life. We must have a solid foundation in understanding our self worth and value. When we are dependent of the behavior of those around us for our self worth and value two things happen:

1. We can become controlling- we try to control the behavior around us so we look good.

2. We can become shaming- we shame others into compliance because of our embarrassment.

When our value is based on God it is stable, steady and dependable and it never changes. Depending on people for our self worth is like building on shifting sand.
Wow this hit's home. I remember times when I tried to get my wife to comply because she embarrassed me. There were times when we were alone and her words alone embarrassed me. She didn't mean any harm, I am just too sensitive about my role as husband and head of the household. I can be controlling. This is another new thing for me. She is the only one I am this way with. I have let my responsibilities wane and I make up for it by being a jerk. I am so glad that Jesus is changing me! I bet Kim is too!!

Consider It Pure Joy

James 1: 2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. When I read these verses today I saw something different. When I went through the 'dry time' of two and a half years, I couldn't consider it 'pure joy'. I was in the wrong mind for one. For two, I saw no end, no work being finished. I felt alone and helpless.
I can now see God used that time to mature me and make me better so I can minister to others going through similar difficulties. I can feel 'pure joy' because I know God is maturing me and making me complete. That is hope! No matter what happens, no matter how bad, difficult, hard things become, God is with me and He's using the very thing that is trying to kill me (it feels that way sometimes) to mature me and make me better. I am becoming a mighty warrior, an effective minister, and a man of God. That is enough to give anybody joy. Change the way you think. Think like God. The now in our life is temporary. Our future is bright. Jesus already won the battle. We just need to walk in it, believe it, and act on it. Use the Word of God. It is a sword, a weapon. Fight for the victory because you will win.

I Cor. 15: 58 Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

Selfish

Selfish, self-seeking, self-indulgence, need I go on? This is what I'm dealing with in this chapter of life right now. Wait, let me start at the beginning. As I've indicated on a previous post (Bang), 2008 is a year of change and renewal for me. In December I made a desperate cry to God and a few close friends. I asked for change. I needed to change or die. I was heading further and further away from God and contentment. I tried to live for God and I prayed for change but nothing seemed to work. Within a couple days, however, it began to turn around.
Early in February to present day God has been revealing my selfishness. Ugh!! This is painful and hard to live with. What do you do when God reveals that even your motives in ministry were selfish? Wow, that was hard to take!! I thought I was pretty unselfish. I am giving and do a lot for others.
It's not all bad. I wrote down three questions December 27th and by February 5th I had the answers.

1. Do I have an important assignment for my life? -Yes
   
2. Do I have close friends I can depend on to lift and encourage me when I'm weak? -Yes
   
3. Am I anywhere near where I'm suppose to be? -Yes
   

I truly didn't have the answers and I needed them to survive. What would be the point if these were answered no? They were answered yes though and now I have hope. This makes hearing and changing easier. If God would have revealed these things to me last year I'd have been crushed. I don't think I could of recovered. I was barely hanging on to what little I was doing for God.
So after getting my barrings back, I now have to deal with exposed selfishness issues. It all stems from wrong thinking. I found out yesterday how I could have hindered the growth of a family hearing from God. I feel terrible. I chose siding with man's ideas and feelings rather than God's. The best part is they chose God and I can change. If God reveals it He will fix it.
The change needs to be from thinking like a man to thinking like God. He is my provider, protector, sustainer, and guide. Thinking another way is a waste and gets you away from where you need to be. More to come...

Bang

Well I had to start this thing off someway! Why start a blog? For me: to keep a journal of life. For everybody else: encouragement, humor, or just plain entertainment. Life has ups and downs. I just want to stay focused on what really matters. God created us for His plan on this earth and then for heaven. We can try to see if the guy with the most toys wins or we can live for the Lord. Staying focused involves responsibility, selflessness, discipline, and many other attributes that most people don't feel necessary to live by. To make a difference in life these attributes need to be second nature to us. My life thus far has fallen far short of these attributes.
However, 2008 has proven to be a year of change. I have lost 25 lb.s, changed my eating habits, re-connected with God in a real and powerful way, dropped the idea of starting my own business, and started several other things that will improve my life. Really, the direction from here is in His hands. My selfish ways have gotten me depressed, overweight, antisocial, away from God, into marital conflict, lazy, self-centered, and into debt. What started out as the safe and easy road has turned into the road to death. Until I started changing (with God's help and direction) I was dying. My life was hindered physically, mentally, spiritually, and socially. I would cry out to God with no results. I had heard some things that mattered and then I would just go back to my selfish ways. Until I 'confessed' or admitted my lowly state to a few good friends and asked for their prayers God finally made the light come on. I saw my life for what it really was and easily changed it because He was helping and guiding me. The things I tried the hardest to do and could not God did within a couple weeks. Life is not all peaches and cream but at least I know where my answers lie. There must be less of me and more of Jesus.