Check-up

Well the year is half over and I've had some time to reflect and get the dumb smacked out of me. It's been since February since my last post so...surprise! My wife recently spoke to me on my lack of contribution in our house and relationship. I grew into a very lazy person with all the time off from work and did just enough to get by. Oh there was a major house cleaning/ rearrangement that happened but after that I was a couch potato. I just did what I wanted to do. It was nice but waaaay overdone! God was hinting I needed to do something about it all along. My intentions stayed intentions and no action was taken.
In the midst of the dumb smacking I had the notion to read my blog and specifically the 'Word' God gave me for this year. I forgot. I had an idea what it was but I was way off. My word was 'excel'. Ouch! Excel? I was so far away from that word it wasn't funny. So far my word is decel instead of excel! I guess that is why we reflect. So God can show us what's broke. The only area I've excelled at this year has been paying our debts off. We are within a couple thousand of doing it and it's been with a limited income due to all the time off from work. It has been a goal for the past 3-4 years to get our debt under control. Our wants and needs seemed to take over and we never gained any ground. This year God opened my eyes that having this debt and being so close to not having a job is unwise.
However, this is about my whole life and not just money. I have let myself go. I let the world do whatever it wanted and joined in when only dragged to do something. My wife has patience and grace but they do run out and her tank is almost dry. So she opened my eyes to how bad it was and I actually listened. I know her love language is acts of service. I have that much going for me. I know how to fix this with God. I just need to be unselfish in everything instead of selfish. Also, spending time with Him needs to become a habit.
Well that's all for now. Don't want to over do my comeback :-) Keep me honest and keep me in prayer. Too many people depend on my gift of encouragement, whether they know it or not. If I just have my words and not His the encouragement doesn't last or isn't as effective. I need the confidence that only He can give.

Senator donates hair

One of Michigan's state Senators is going to great lengths to help kids battling serious illness.

State Senator Hansen Clarke has been growing his hair for almost two years so he can donate it to the group Children with Hair Loss.

The Michigan-based charity provides free hairpieces to kids who've lost their hair because of cancer, burns or other diseases.

Senator Clarke will donate his hair, along with an original painting, to the organization at their charity ball fund-raiser Saturday night in Livonia.

February 7th the hair piece was complete for 7-year-old Addison Copeland of East Liverpool, in eastern Ohio, just across from West Virginia's northwestern panhandle. At 9 months old, Addison was accidentally burned with grease that scarred parts of her head and prevented her hair from growing out. It took a little over 4 months to complete the wig.

Portions of these facts were found at freep.com

Destiny

I starting reading the book by Jill Austin titled: 'Dancing With Destiny' and found a good forward by Dutch Sheets. He is the senior pastor @ Springs Harvest Fellowship in Colorado Springs, Colorado and an author. Here is his explanation of the word 'destiny'. I hope you find it as interesting as I did:
"The New Testament Greek word for 'destiny,' proorizo, is filled with hope. The root, horizo, gives us our word horizon; the prefix means 'in advance.' God has planned a future for us, determining our horizons before we were ever born (see Psalm 139:13-16). This does not mean everything that occurs in our lives is preplanned by God; He does not cause us to sin, fail or experience devastation just so He can give us a testimony. But it does mean He has a finish line in mind for us and a preordained way of recovery when forces try to derail us."
I always saw destiny as our calling or heaven. When he said it means 'filled with hope' I automatically figured out destiny is not the future but today. We live out our destiny today. My destiny is to minister to children. I am doing that today and not looking to 'someday when I'm good enough'. My destiny is heaven. I asked Jesus in my heart and He is guiding me on that path that leads me home to heaven. I can be ready anytime for Jesus to take me home because I follow Him. I am not perfect but He is fixing me as He sees fit.
Destiny can be seen on the horizon and lived out today until the two meet. Are you living your destiny today or waiting for someday?

Save me

I was reading Psalm 69 yesterday and it spoke some reality to me. It is vividly descriptive and pretty accurate to today's surroundings. It is a picture of how David feels with his enemies hot on his trail. I know I found somethings in there I could relate to and thought you might also.
Here are the first four verses:
1 Save me, O God,
for the waters have come up to my neck.

2 I sink in the miry depths,
where there is no foothold.
I have come into the deep waters;
the floods engulf me.

3 I am worn out calling for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes fail,
looking for my God.

4 Those who hate me without reason
outnumber the hairs of my head;
many are my enemies without cause,
those who seek to destroy me.
I am forced to restore
what I did not steal.

In verse 4 I found two things that are prevalent in my life. The first is people who hate me without reason. I am a nice guy and try to be friends with everybody but I do have some who just hate me for no reason. The other is being forced to restore what I did not steal. Bad stuff happens, sometimes on purpose. People can steal from you or blame things on you that make you the thief or person that messed up. God tells us not to take revenge on a person because that's His job. He is the true judge of our motives and actions.
I find these two things in life to be very difficult sometimes. I'm sure David felt pretty bad too considering he compared his situation to drowning and exhaustion. This is where we need to put our trust is God's promise of revenge and that He'll take care of all our needs. To take your situation and just ignore the wrong done to you is very difficult unless you truly trust in Him. He really is our provider. He can replace stolen things or use a situation to speak to another because of your attitude being displayed.
I think we can be encouraged by these verses just because it was David speaking these things to God. He was the man after God's own heart, after all. So if you're feeling overwhelmed or exhausted continue to call out to God because He is there and He wants to take care of you. He can fix anything and give you peace before you even see any change. Trust Him.

I Found Love

I'm sitting here incapacitated after slipping on some ice yesterday. However, I am doing quite a bit better today. I hurt my chest by landing on my arm in some weird way. At first it felt like I was going to die. I hit the sidewalk and the piercing pain felt like a heart attack. I came inside and checked myself out. I knew I hit hard but found no broken bones or bruises. I might be banged up a bit but Jesus was still watching over me. I knew He was right there when I felt that pain.
After I came in and got settled, I prayed. I knew He was listening and I knew He was going to answer. I am not as close to Him as I want to be. I let my devotion to Him become devotion to me. I learned in that pain, prayer, and then agape love from my wife that God loved me. He loves me for me and not what I do or not do.
Kim, my wife, came into the room and did something for me and I said, "You love me." She responded by saying, "How do you know?" She was just being silly but God used that moment to show me He loves me the same way. I knew she loved me for me and not because she felt sorry for me or didn't love me because of anything I did wrong. His love doesn't change. I may not be living 100% like I should be, praying as much as I should be, or serving like I should be but His love remains the same. He died before He got any love from me.
I don't know what my exact role is for my life on this planet. I don't know how far away I am from that plan. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing anything right.
However, this past year taught me a few things. I'm not as bad as I thought. Yes, I had attitude problems, selfish issues, and an agenda that wasn't from God. Also, my marriage needed fixed. I am not perfect but the Bible I read says to love others. I started this blog to love others and I've learned to error on the side of love. I choose to love rather than hold a grudge, argue because I'm right, or shun family because they have prejudices or wrong ideas.
I visited my brother over Christmas break. It's been a long time. I hadn't even seen my two nieces before and they're four and two! My family pretty much had me believing they were hermits, never leaving the house and not coming over to visit. We have many family issues that led me to avoid family as much as possible. I had a wonderful time and stayed over five hours! I learned all the stuff my family doesn't talk about and found out what my brother's family was really like. I plan on visiting this year and becoming part of their life. They are raising a family the way I wanted to. Life is too short to not love, especially family.

I Dare You To Read And Comment On This Election Post

I really don't like politics at all. Everything about it makes me sick to my stomach. Some laws I still don't know what God's opinion is on them. Others I know are wrong. Voting is pretty easy for me. If the politician is for the laws that are wrong I vote for the other guy. Stuff like the environment, alternate fuels, jobs and the economy are really secondary to what is right and wrong.
Pulling out of the war in Iraq early is wrong. 4000 plus soldiers would have died for nothing. The Taliban would quickly move in and undo everything our young men and women helped establish over there. Abortion is wrong. Gay marriage is wrong. Judges deciding what the laws of this country should be based solely on there agenda is wrong.
Family values are right. 'Adult' stem cell research is right. Abstinence education is right. Preaching the Gospel on the radio and television is right.
Some of you are probably saying "Yeah, I want world peace and food for the starving children too, but we are in debt ready to lose our jobs, house, cars, and retirement." Let me tell you something you don't want to hear. Our hope is not in the economy. Our trust is not in our job. Our future is not in our home, car, pension, or 401k. Yes we need these things on this earth to survive comfortably, but if we put our trust in these things we will lose them.
Isaiah 31:1 says: 'Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the LORD.' Let me tell you when God says "woe" it ain't good!
Our trust needs to be in God alone. "In God We Trust".
If we do not vote with the 'right' motives we can kiss that slogan good bye. 9-11 will be a walk in the park compared to what is coming. God will take His hand off of us. Whatever we allow in as compromise with terrorists will come back to haunt us.
We are living in the end times. The end is near and the anti-christ will have reign because we are deceived. Are you ready to take the mark of the beast? If this kind of talk scares you, it should! Because it's time to get right with God. He is setting things in motion to have us repent or grow cold to the things of God.
Ephesians 4:17-19 'So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.'
2Timothy 3:1-5 'But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them'
I know this went in a different direction than the election. However, it is exactly how we should vote, both with our lives and our politicians.
Do you want to get right with God? click here
If you know God but are finding out it is not as it use to be. Your decisions are a little more compromised. Your time with Him is less and less. Reading your Bible happens on Sunday only. Maybe you are doing everything right but something is missing.
Revelation 2: 2-5 'I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.'
Don't let Him remove your lampstand. This is a symbol of you being rejected by God.
Revelation 3: 15-16 'I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.' Become hot for God once again. He never left you and He loves you. Get right with Him while it is still today.
Hebrews 3:12 'See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.'
Hebrews 3:7-8 So, as the Holy Spirit says:
"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your heart".

The Truth Hurts

I have been hearing from God for the past two weeks and it has been very difficult medicine to take. It started with a book I needed to read in preparation for the marriage seminar I was going to at my Church. Then came the marriage seminar. I followed that by going to a men's leadership training class. Lastly, there were individual occurrences God pointed out things I needed to see. All this in a nice little package that hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like Wild E. Coyote when one of his schemes to catch the Roadrunner backfired. Can you see me waving that little white flag out from under a pile of rubble?
I was told in many different ways how selfish I've been as a husband, leader, and just in living. The book alone was a wake-up call that I couldn't start reading once I stopped. It convicted me and just kept hitting me-left, right, left, right. I was not able to hardly breath because it just said over and over how bad I was as a husband. It turned into condemnation until my friend told me what I was doing. He saw it for what it was and pulled me back into reality. I still haven't finished reading it yet.
I went into the marriage seminar expecting the best. I did learn a lot of new things that already helped me with understanding and communicating with Kim. However, there came another new set of things I was doing wrong. I didn't feel too bad until we had our first post-seminar fight. It was not as bad as it could have been before the book and seminar. The thing was a concept of the past mixed in with a little misunderstanding. We got through it but I felt like I couldn't change anything in my life. I was knocked down a notch and couldn't get back up.
Kim's mom's friend had a heart attack and they decided to go down to Columbus to visit. I was not going so I got the opportunity to go to the men's leadership training class at church. Originally I had not planned on going. I saw my life as it was and how to fix it. The only problem I had was a lack of ambition to take the leap to just do the things I needed to do to make my life productive and Spirit led. I pondered on these facts and recalled my track record. Then I looked at my present position and a longing to change stirred within me. I wish I could say it was all peaches and cream from that point on but I can't. I saw what needed done in my life and I just caved in. It was just too much for me to comprehend a happy ending to all this. I was always a slacker and even today I slide into slacker mode. I don't like confrontation, being told what to do, the chance of being hurt, or arguing. I back away from most things I can't control or dislike.
Then came Sunday...I had to go to the 'Race for the Cure' in downtown Toledo. I was trying to get out of it but it didn't work. I didn't have to walk, just be there to support Kim's sister and her daughter. I got through the day easy enough but the family is strong willed and they make decisions at the last second. I was complaining and had an attitude that was noticable.
When I got home I thought about how I acted. I wasn't unbarable but it was just enough to peak it's head above the surface and make things uncomfortable. Is this how I influence my family? Is this the way Jesus wants me to live? Is this the way I want to live? Obviously the answer is no and I knew I had to change right then and there. I broke down and cried and begged God to change me. I knew I couldn't do it and any ambition I had was dying. I was close to delving into a deeper depression than I've ever had. I was going to email my friends for help. I knew the answer but it was like I couldn't do it. The answer is 'just do it'.
God was disciplining me so I could change. I never felt all of what these two weeks have told/done to me before. God was gentle, kind, and forgiving. Now He's a Father spanking me and telling me what I did wrong and what I need to do to fix it. Emailing friends won't fix this. I picked up my Bible and said "Lord, tell me what to read. Give me exactly the Word I need for right now in my life that will change me forever." I heard "Zephaniah". I read the last half of the last chapter and knew it was what I prayed for. He spoke to me saying He loved me, is with me, and is changing me. Click here if you want to read what He spoke. The title of that post is a link to a blog that helped me in the right direction too.
I am taking the attitude of 'Just do it'. I am going to sacrifice myself for His glory. Too many examples have been before me not to follow their example. People need the me that God created and not the one I want. If I die in the process I go home to Jesus. It's a win-win situation:-)
Clinging to Jesus and not to this world is my goal. Welcome back Aaron, it's good to see you.

Guard Your Heart

I saw 'Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.' It made me wonder about guarding and how much I do and don't do.
I have seen some areas of weakness as of late and even considered not going to a marriage seminar because of the stark reality of my shortcomings. I know I need all of God I can get and to surrender my ways for His but the shock was overwhelming how much I am still an infant. I'm holding on to the easy life. There is so little self sacrifice. I am still protecting myself from rejection, being hurt, and being wrong.
So guarding my heart more than likely needs improvement. Here's what I found:

• Proverbs 4:13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life.

Guard instruction...written and spoken word of God. I have been doing better this year but I need to learn to stand on the Word. I need to believe it by living it. There is stuff God told me that I need to stand on too.

• Proverbs 13:3 He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.

Guard lips...what I say. I have to stop before I speak. I let this slip as of late and my wife has been letting me know.

• Proverbs 16:17 The highway of the upright avoids evil; he who guards his way guards his life.

Guard the way...what I do. I can do better. What programs/movies am I watching, conversations am I having, and time am I wasting? How many prayers have I neglected to pray?

• Luke 12:15 Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

Guard against greed...what I own and want to own. How much money have I wasted on stuff that later I find out how dumb it was to buy? Do I need the newest, best, brand name, electronic item to make my life easier? By the time you get it home it needs an upgrade. I need to downgrade on earthly treasures and strive for heavenly treasure.

• Psalm 91:11 For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;

Praise God!!! Even when I'm stupid He's watching over me. I need to take an attitude that I'm protected and just obey God without worrying about the consequences. God's got my back!

A Fight to the Finish (Part 2)

OK this passage is titled 'Tearing Down Barriers' but it reads in the same line as yesterday's verses.

2 Corinthians 10:3-6
The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

This is from the Message Bible again. I like how it clearly separates us and from the world. I think we all from time to time need to be reminded that: "we win". When it is all over, we win. The evil one may have our number for the day, week, month or year. However, if we do not faint, give up, or ignore God, we win. If today the devil has your number keep fighting you will win. You are not alone. We all have battles. Nobody is going through anything that hasn't happened before. Jesus is right there with you. Trust Him and use the weapons He gave us by dying for us. Remember His fight? He won!!!

It's my Fault

These are three words we never want to have to say. Usually when we say "It's my fault" we made a big mistake. Remember when you were little and 'somebody' did something they were not suppose to do and mom or dad said, "Who did this?". When "It's my fault" was finally said they got a whooping. How about at work when a project does not work out or you lose a customer. It's your fault and you just want to run and hide but somebody has to take the hit. In each case the parent and the boss will figure out the culprit so you had better come clean.
Whenever I am at fault I feel like a failure. I can't help it. I look at my progress in life and expect a certain level of performance. If I fail to meet that level, I become frustrated and want to blame somebody else for my mistakes. I may start yelling at every little thing that sounds like an accusation or put down. I have my eyes off of Jesus and onto the problem. If I could just keep my focus on His word and the promises He gave us, I could quickly get past this learning moment and see that His plan is still in place for my life. I could respond properly because I know what is right if I take time to think about it. If I had no answer I could ask God for wisdom and He would give it (James 1:5).
For some reason I tend to lean towards self preservation and avoid being hurt. Both of these get me into further trouble. Problems are not solved but only ignored. The more you try to protect yourself the more work you create. It can work it's way throughout your whole life. Problems grow at work, at home, in your health, in your marriage, at church, in your relationships, bills get behind, and your walk with God suffers.
In the end you start saying "It's not my fault". You could be so far down the wrong path that you actually start to believe it. In reality, it's all your fault and it won't change until you start taking responsibility for your faults. Confess your sins to God, get forgiveness, and walk in the right way. To know the right way you need to read the Bible, pray, and go to church. Spiritual disciplines cannot be ignored. To be in the right state of mind in peace and grace to walk effectively, we need to have a personal intimate relationship with God. Without contact the connection becomes corroded and we don't hear Him or remember what's right in a given situation.
So, being responsible in life takes courage and sometimes saying, "It's my fault". I struggle too much trying to escape this responsibility and need God's help to keep me connected and on track. Friends are another way to remember what's important in life. Talk about Jesus every now and then just to see where we are in our hearts. Sometimes one's desire to please the Lord awakens that desire in somebody else. Together our impact can be contagious. The very life around us can change just because we talked about Jesus. Joy becomes your strength and courage and the only thing that matters is making a difference in somebody else's life. You and God can change the world just by living to be a blessing. Give more than you get.

Mary

Let me start by saying I have no children. My wife is a quadriplegic and has had problems with her cycles. We are going to be 40+ers this year. The conversation came up that we should start looking for Mary.
Now Mary is our daughter. She was shown to both of us in a dream/ vision about 10 years ago. Her age was between 10-12 with long tan/ blond hair. She was riding a bike in our driveway and two other boys were behind her. They were around 5 and 6 years old. I knew they were ours. I only had one other dream/ vision before and that one hasn't come to fruition either.
Yesterday I saw a movie that was about an orphan and in the credits it said: "Please...Consider adoption". I felt that familiar twinge that this was meant for me. I never felt this for adoption before. In fact, I told her that we should wait for her to show up because I showed up in answer to her prayers 19 years ago. I was open for adoption but not sure if we're ready. I think God may have taken me through the past 3 years to prepare me. I do long to have a child of my own but life will change forever. I may be spiritually ready but what about emotionally? Time to start looking. Does anybody have any ideas?

Dull

My sword has been dull. I used it during VBS and put it away. I took it out a couple times to remind me who I am and what is God's will. It's dull and rusty. The verse that inspired this blog says one man sharpens another and that is when I pulled it out again. When I say "my sword" I am referring to God's word. Ephesians 6: 17 "Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
Now lets look at what is God's word. First, John 1: 1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John is speaking of Jesus in this verse. We know that the Bible is God's word. Now when we read the Bible God's word is in our minds and hearts. When we talk about the Bible our mouths and ears have God's word in them. So by activating the Word in any form: reading, speaking, thinking, hearing, believing, writing, or living it in action, we are sharpening our sword.
When I have a dull sword I withdraw and do whatever is easy and time consuming. It can be the computer, television, or movies. Typically all three of these have ungodly messages whether it is commercials, shows or hidden messages. Everything has a message and pulls for our attention. If we are filling our minds and hearts with ungodly things it dulls our sword and makes us ineffective. We start believing the negative things our minds tell us and start to fill those holes with whatever makes us feel better.
Why can't we just do what's right and reject the lies and inject the truth? If there is no more room for the truth we can't get the truth. All that's left is whatever we've been filling our minds and hearts with. I have learned more than any other time in my life that iron sharpens iron. We sharpen each other. By talking openly and honestly with close friends, you have an ally that tells you the truth and shares their struggles with you. You can see you're not alone and hope begins to rise once again.
I had a 13 year old girl show me where I was at fault. She recently came back from a four week missions trip and started spending early morning hours with God. She came back changed and it shows. I am proud of her and am humbled at her example. She has awaken who I need to be and what I should be doing. My priorities need realigned. 15 minutes with our Lord and a promise, it's a start. Thank you friends for the encouragement and prodding. You mean the world to me.

The Cost of Worship

I was listening to a podcast sermon and had to post an important point here. The verses on this portion of the sermon are:
II Samuel: 21-24
Araunah said, "Why has my lord the king come to his servant?" "To buy your threshing floor," David answered, "so I can build an altar to the LORD, that the plague on the people may be stopped." Araunah said to David, "Let my lord the king take whatever pleases him and offer it up. Here are oxen for the burnt offering, and here are threshing sledges and ox yokes for the wood. O king, Araunah gives all this to the king." Araunah also said to him, "May the LORD your God accept you." But the king replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing." So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen and paid fifty shekels of silver for them.

The sermon tells us of a women that was to have a baby. In the process of a checkup the doctor found cancer and proceed to tell her that it was so far advanced that she needed Chemotherapy within a week to be able to survive. Of course he told her she needed to abort the baby because the therapy would destroy the baby. She she, "I will have this baby whether I live or die." The doctor told her that by waiting until after birth there was no chance of survival. She told him that she'd take her chances.
She went on to have the baby and soon after she died. The pastor proceeded to say he was sad. He said, "What's really grieving isn't so much that she died so that her child could live but that people live with nothing to die for." Until you have something to die for, you don't really live.
We have chosen the low road and live selfishly. We make choices with the intent of preserving ourselves. What would make it easier to deal with, instead of, what is the right thing to do? She could have had that abortion and lived. People would have thought that was the noble thing to do because the baby would have suffered. How many of us could make that choice right now? I don't know if I could and I'm a guy.
The true point to this post is to make the hard decisions. Let your sacrifices to God cost you something or they mean nothing. I have been in that rut quite often and need reminded that love without some cost, some sacrifice and/or action does not mean anything. I get that wakeup call every so often from my wife. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I pay for it later. Listening is much better!

Time Lapse

I've been experiencing challenging times as of late. God's been correcting some areas in my life
and I've been doing things to improve my marriage and walk with God. None of these are easy. You have to face things you have been doing wrong for years. Something you didn't know was wrong. Something maybe you knew was wrong but accepted. Something ignored because it was easier to do nothing than deal with it.
It's time to become excellent, to rise above mediocrity and be all God has created you for. So you set out to do this and through prayer and faith things are working out fairly easy. However, the course of time brings ups and downs. There is a time and a season for everything. The season I seem to have the hardest time with is when there is a time lapse. What I mean by this is things are going great and everything is working out like you feel it should, but then you don't hear from God that morning. You send someone an email that could potentially be taken offensively because it is corrective or calling them to live a little higher in their calling. You feel strongly that it was from God but you are imperfect and mistakes have happened before. You check your email with no response 5x more than normal anticipating their response hoping that God was behind your words. Could I have lost a friend by trusting in God? There is a time lapse where you have to chose between the thoughts rising in your head and the trust you have from hearing His voice.
It tends to work this way in many choices you make. You believe the direction you go in is from God but then you don't get a confirmation. You may even get the opposite reaction. People may think you're crazy or a radical or just plain wrong. They may question your very relationship with God. Time lapse...what's next? back away and hide from the faith you were courageous enough to walk in or have patience until God comes through bigger than you ever imagined?
You can follow those thoughts of unbelief down the road to depression, confusion, and hopelessness. You can let it spiral downward getting worse and worse letting it capture you until you believe there is no escape. You don't trust anybody and everything is somebody else's fault. The other choice is to fight those thoughts and feed your mind and heart on the Word of God, prayer, other Christians, and walking out that faith until what is promised in the Bible comes to fruition.
Time lapses are a faith builder and what God uses to make you stronger. It's easier to give up and not move forward, not take chances, not get hurt, and not be wrong, but you will never be the person God created you to be. That is a pain harder to live with than any other. To ignore who you are is the greatest tragedy of all. Jesus would have made the ultimate sacrifice for nothing.
Trust Him at all times especially when it feels like He left you.

Joshua 1:5 No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.

Dueteronomy 31:6,8 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

Hebrews 13:5,6 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
"Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you." So we say with confidence,
"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?"

Political Awareness

Just thought I'd put it out there that I started a political blog. Like I got time to do that! I feel passionately about some things in the political arena and I would like to help make others aware of what is happening or what you can do to change the way things are or could happen. We as a free country cannot sit back at let be whatever will be. If something is against God and His word, we should stop it. To know what is right and not do it is sin.
I choose to start this blog instead of posting here because I thought my ranting was taking away from the 'Sharpening' I'm trying to do here. If I feel something is important enough or there is an easy way for you to participate in a process to fight for or against something of significance, I will bring it up and point you to a solution or my other blog. I don't get into political discussions and don't even care about most governmental things, but if it is something that God forbids or calls us to do I will at least try to communicate or participate to make the right choice and fight if necessary. It will be opinionated and informational. God politics per say.

Life in the Fast Lane

Just want to give an update on life and the road less traveled that I'm on. God is awesome. His plan is perfect. In recent choices I have made my marriage has improved.
I told a few friends of the troubles I've had and the known weaknesses I have to battle. God revealed that my next step of change that leads me closer to Him is my marriage. This has been a long time coming and I believe He has been leading me to this time so that the change can and will happen. I knew the pain I would endure and the flight risk involved. I don't like pain in any form and the state of my marriage has deteriorated because of my avoidance of pain. I would choose to not do anything when a painful situation came up. I avoided the temporary pain but put a wedge between us as a couple. I evaluated the situation and realized how hard this next step was. I knew on my own the pain would be too much for me to bare. So my friends have been praying for me since the all alert.
I have been doing things I don't normally do and getting good results. Yes the pain has been there but the results are worth the pain. The prayers are working because the choices I'm making are right and easy to handle. I have been dealing with decisions I have made and decisions I have yet to make. I am letting God guide me but I know the battle is on. Just like the prayers that were lifted up for me earlier this year to bring me out of the pit I had fallen into, the prayers are making my mind clear and the way easy. I am winning the fight for my intimacy with God and my marriage. I know this is only the beginning and the days will get hard to handle, but I trust God and I will move on to the next stage of change.
I am learning things for the second time and some things for the first time. The more I say yes to His plans the more I grow and the more I am affective. It's about surrendering my ways and thinking to His way. Knowing I have help to get to the next stage is what keeps me optimistic. I can feel less stress, more confidence, and more hope. To my friends, Thank you. To my Lord, Praise Your Holy Name! It's all for Your glory.

California Marriage Law: 4,618,673 to Four

I totally stole this from the Family Research Council-Action group. They are the legislative Action arm of Family Research Council which is a group that came out of Focus on the Family. I get emails everyday that show me things in government (usually) that affect or could effect families. I saw this ruling on tv yesterday and my stomach turned. The downgrade of America's morals is removing God from our country. When God takes His hand off of us what will happen? We already had Katrina, 9-11, and financial problems. How much more waking up do we need? Turn your eyes to Jesus, United States. Fight for what's right.
Anyways I know there will be ways to block this and I will post and email you on ways to stop it. They say 'As California goes, so goes the country'. This is why I see this as important to fight with everything we got. Here's the email I got and the eliquent details I would never be able to repeat on my own:
'After a brief period of judicial restraint, California voters watched in horror this afternoon as judicial activism returned with a vengeance in one of the most egregious rulings in American jurisprudence. It took just four activist judges to overturn the historical definition of marriage, not to mention the vote of more than four and a half million Californians, as the state supreme court issued a much-anticipated ruling on the question of same-sex "marriage." By a 4-3 margin, the justices struck down a law, adopted by 61 percent of voters in 2000, which defined marriage as the union of one man and one woman. By imposing same-sex "marriage" on voters, the California Supreme Court knowingly usurped the right of the people to effect change in public policy. This outcome is even more troubling than Massachusetts', in that California voters had already won the right to put a marriage protection amendment on the ballot in November. If the court cared at all about the democratic process, it would have stayed its decision until the people's voice was heard on the November amendment. Instead, these justices trampled on the legislature and created same-sex marriage by judicial fiat. This is nothing more than a judicial shotgun wedding that forces a redefinition of marriage on the people of California and potentially the rest of the nation. We trust that the voters of California will act in November to correct this exercise in judicial activism and to permanently enshrine the traditional definition of marriage in the state constitution. Clearly, this decision highlights the need for a federal amendment defining marriage in the U.S. Constitution. Only then will this campaign to shatter the family's foundation be ended once and for all.'- Written by Tony Perkins-FRC Action President
Here's the NY Times link. Arnold doesn't support the law change. Go terminator!!

The Message Bible:
Romans 1: 24-32 So God said, in effect, "If that's what you want, that's what you get." It wasn't long before they were living in a pigpen, smeared with filth, filthy inside and out. And all this because they traded the true God for a fake god, and worshiped the god they made instead of the God who made them—the God we bless, the God who blesses us. Oh, yes!
Worse followed. Refusing to know God, they soon didn't know how to be human either—women didn't know how to be women, men didn't know how to be men. Sexually confused, they abused and defiled one another, women with women, men with men—all lust, no love. And then they paid for it, oh, how they paid for it—emptied of God and love, godless and loveless wretches.
Since they didn't bother to acknowledge God, God quit bothering them and let them run loose. And then all hell broke loose: rampant evil, grabbing and grasping, vicious backstabbing. They made life hell on earth with their envy, wanton killing, bickering, and cheating. Look at them: mean-spirited, venomous, fork-tongued God-bashers. Bullies, swaggerers, insufferable windbags! They keep inventing new ways of wrecking lives. They ditch their parents when they get in the way. Stupid, slimy, cruel, cold-blooded. And it's not as if they don't know better. They know perfectly well they're spitting in God's face. And they don't care—worse, they hand out prizes to those who do the worst things best!

Answered Prayer

I had an answer to prayer walk in my house today. I've been praying for someone for all of this year. The story has been up, down, to hopeless. I had given up all but the slimmest hope of God fixing this person's heart. They were acting selfish and didn't seem to want to get help or seek for the right answers for their life. They gave up responsibilities that were important, probably their job, and were hanging with the wrong crowd.
Through fellow family members I found out most of my information because they didn't want to talk or share anything. The last real 'talk' we had I was lied to (so I had thought). This hurt pretty bad because our relationship has always been one where I felt they could share anything and I would not judge or put them down.
I prayed in the beginning very fervently for this whole situation. I would literally cry myself to sleep because they meant that much to me and I couldn't bear the thought of them turning their back on their spouse, kids, me and the Lord. I continued to pray even after the supposed lies they had said. It hurt and changed my perspective of them. Time after time I heard of no change. It was getting worse. My hope of seeing or hearing this situation ever turning around was so low I almost forgot about them just so I could handle the stress of it all.
However, God's answer to prayer walked though my door today and I was flabbergasted, blown away, dumbstruck and in total awe of what has and was happening. They turned their life around and were giving the marriage, kids, and God a try again. I was so happy!!
In conversation, I had mentioned the lies and they said that they did not lie and to call them for information next time! Much of what I heard was overblown or wrong. Normally I don't rely on hearsay at all, but I didn't have anyway of contacting them and they meant more to me than just some person. I needed information for prayer after all! Lame excuse. I believed the half truths and the 'lies' over what God could do. Faith is to stand on what God says. I was believing in hearsay and fear. God is so good. He reconciled this situation and taught me a lesson at the same time.
God recently also had me pray for someone with a physical problem that was misdiagnosed. This record did not allow them to get health insurance. So I prayed for the diagnosis to be reversed and within one week it was! There is a process to undo the health records yet but I'm praying for that as well.
With two major prayers answered with a short period of time my faith is flying high!! God is the answer for everything no matter how impossible or bleak things may 'seem'. Pray and believe then wait and see how God will do it. He will you know. Waiting may take a while but: 'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.'- Gal. 6:9

Amen!!

God's Will

Life has been hard to handle lately. I had taxes to do which is a big deal to me. Can I say that I hate doing taxes? I would rather get a root canal. I have three months of mail to catch up on. My wife is 'cleaning' and is constantly needing assistance. I will be cleaning now also (now that taxes are done). God's been using me quite a bit to encourage a family to stay on track. In order to do much of what I've done, I have lost sleep. I also use the internet (too much) to read and research stuff. I would be way behind if I just went to sleep when I should.
Well, dealing with all this stuff leaves little time for God. I seem to get going and time just flies by. God is left behind for 'important stuff'. I have been trying to hear Him lately and live in faith. It gets difficult to know what God wants in a given situation if we don't communicate with Him like we should. Sometimes He's really clear and other times you're saying "huh?"
I posted earlier in 'Selfish Update' that I was going to live a risky faith filled life being led by the Holy Spirit. I have been successful so far on this endeavor. However, a line has been crossed that is hard to recover from. To walk in faith involves doing things you don't normally do. It also puts relationships at risk. People could start to look at you funny (or funnier than normal!). You have to take inventory of why you're doing what you are doing. You have to weigh personal comfort and safety against risking it all for the will of God.
The line that has been crossed is the possibility of being wrong, more specifically being wrong with a friend's life. I reflected on the consequences of a possible error on my part, when stepping out in faith. The results were not good. My heart grew heavy and fear tried to step in. I haven't let myself go there until then because walking in risk taking faith is scary enough. Why ponder the possible bad outcome to increase the intensity of taking the action you believe is what God wants? God gives you strength to walk in faith and do it easily. When you take that first step of risking it all, it just gets easier after that because the results encourage you to follow God consistently. You get favor, direction, results, etc. You feel confident and you look for people to help.
OK, what if I'm wrong? What if I chose something that wasn't meant for a family at this time? What if my decision sets them back financially for years to come? Is the risk worth taking in that scenario? Yes the bottom line is it's their decision to make but my encouragement for them to walk in faith is defiantly a factor. I could be held accountable in their eyes. I could lose their friendship. All my trust in them that I allowed to happen, after many relationships of broken trust, could be annihilated. This would be a devastating blow emotionally that I don't know if I could recover from. All this risk just to try and follow God.
Well, to determine if the risk is worth it, I think you need to find the answer in the Bible. Who took risks that changed the world (or their's alone)? Can't you come up with more names than you have fingers and toes? There is: Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, Gideon, David, Esther, Daniel, Jonah and Jeremiah just in the Old Testament. How about Just Jesus? Name the risks He took confronting the religious leaders of His day, clearing the temple, preaching of eating His flesh and blood, etc. Jesus had all His friends abandon Him. He lost everything even His life. Was it worth it? Was it worth losing everything to live in God the Father's will? I have to say yes, emphatically yes!! His death is our salvation. We no longer get what we deserve (the wages of sin is death). We gain eternal life. In His leaving we received the Holy Spirit and all His gifts (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control). What did He get? Jesus got to return to His father. He also took back all the authority He laid down in coming to earth. He sits in the judgment seat ready to judge the whole earth. His name is above all names. The list goes on and on.
This is how He wants us to live: risky and passionate. Although this lifestyle is a little nerve racking, I believe the good far outweighs the bad. If we don't do what the Holy Spirit is guiding us to do and protect our reputation, our money, our job, our plan, etc., we will never truly see the glory of God until we get to heaven. I will risk it all for you Jesus.

Holy Spirit Nudge

Do you get those nudges that tell you, "Hey you're going off that narrow path again."? Well for the longest time I didn't. I was already off the path and hard-hearted enough that I no longer heard from God or felt any nudge. My sights were all for me and every bit of my energy was being wasted on what I wanted. I only felt a nudge when my wife was doing the nudging! It usually takes a lot for her to nudge too.
I said "no" to the Holy Spirit enough times to where He didn't respond to my off 'pathness'. Now I welcome His correction. To know He loves me enough, that He want me to change, is awesome!
I've signed up for Facebook and MySpace recently and I am hooked! I can check up on people all the time, do the little games they have, trivia, send notes, send gag gifts, and all sorts of fun stuff. Well my wife tells me that when I get involved in something I go overboard. I do! I did. Hence the nudging. Well I'm being nudged right now so I'll end this.
Listen to the nudging before you don't hear or feel Him anymore.