Check-up

Well the year is half over and I've had some time to reflect and get the dumb smacked out of me. It's been since February since my last post so...surprise! My wife recently spoke to me on my lack of contribution in our house and relationship. I grew into a very lazy person with all the time off from work and did just enough to get by. Oh there was a major house cleaning/ rearrangement that happened but after that I was a couch potato. I just did what I wanted to do. It was nice but waaaay overdone! God was hinting I needed to do something about it all along. My intentions stayed intentions and no action was taken.
In the midst of the dumb smacking I had the notion to read my blog and specifically the 'Word' God gave me for this year. I forgot. I had an idea what it was but I was way off. My word was 'excel'. Ouch! Excel? I was so far away from that word it wasn't funny. So far my word is decel instead of excel! I guess that is why we reflect. So God can show us what's broke. The only area I've excelled at this year has been paying our debts off. We are within a couple thousand of doing it and it's been with a limited income due to all the time off from work. It has been a goal for the past 3-4 years to get our debt under control. Our wants and needs seemed to take over and we never gained any ground. This year God opened my eyes that having this debt and being so close to not having a job is unwise.
However, this is about my whole life and not just money. I have let myself go. I let the world do whatever it wanted and joined in when only dragged to do something. My wife has patience and grace but they do run out and her tank is almost dry. So she opened my eyes to how bad it was and I actually listened. I know her love language is acts of service. I have that much going for me. I know how to fix this with God. I just need to be unselfish in everything instead of selfish. Also, spending time with Him needs to become a habit.
Well that's all for now. Don't want to over do my comeback :-) Keep me honest and keep me in prayer. Too many people depend on my gift of encouragement, whether they know it or not. If I just have my words and not His the encouragement doesn't last or isn't as effective. I need the confidence that only He can give.

It's my Fault

These are three words we never want to have to say. Usually when we say "It's my fault" we made a big mistake. Remember when you were little and 'somebody' did something they were not suppose to do and mom or dad said, "Who did this?". When "It's my fault" was finally said they got a whooping. How about at work when a project does not work out or you lose a customer. It's your fault and you just want to run and hide but somebody has to take the hit. In each case the parent and the boss will figure out the culprit so you had better come clean.
Whenever I am at fault I feel like a failure. I can't help it. I look at my progress in life and expect a certain level of performance. If I fail to meet that level, I become frustrated and want to blame somebody else for my mistakes. I may start yelling at every little thing that sounds like an accusation or put down. I have my eyes off of Jesus and onto the problem. If I could just keep my focus on His word and the promises He gave us, I could quickly get past this learning moment and see that His plan is still in place for my life. I could respond properly because I know what is right if I take time to think about it. If I had no answer I could ask God for wisdom and He would give it (James 1:5).
For some reason I tend to lean towards self preservation and avoid being hurt. Both of these get me into further trouble. Problems are not solved but only ignored. The more you try to protect yourself the more work you create. It can work it's way throughout your whole life. Problems grow at work, at home, in your health, in your marriage, at church, in your relationships, bills get behind, and your walk with God suffers.
In the end you start saying "It's not my fault". You could be so far down the wrong path that you actually start to believe it. In reality, it's all your fault and it won't change until you start taking responsibility for your faults. Confess your sins to God, get forgiveness, and walk in the right way. To know the right way you need to read the Bible, pray, and go to church. Spiritual disciplines cannot be ignored. To be in the right state of mind in peace and grace to walk effectively, we need to have a personal intimate relationship with God. Without contact the connection becomes corroded and we don't hear Him or remember what's right in a given situation.
So, being responsible in life takes courage and sometimes saying, "It's my fault". I struggle too much trying to escape this responsibility and need God's help to keep me connected and on track. Friends are another way to remember what's important in life. Talk about Jesus every now and then just to see where we are in our hearts. Sometimes one's desire to please the Lord awakens that desire in somebody else. Together our impact can be contagious. The very life around us can change just because we talked about Jesus. Joy becomes your strength and courage and the only thing that matters is making a difference in somebody else's life. You and God can change the world just by living to be a blessing. Give more than you get.